Okay, I’m stuck on a 5 hour flight from DC to Long Beach so I have nothing else to do but watch MTV and contemplate the state of weaves. So you’ve been forewarned. I guess nothing is wrong with weaves if you are treating your hair like an accessory? Is hair an accessory? Is it okay if your hair changes daily or weekly? I suppose it’s okay if all the changes look good. But for most our sistas donning weaves today, the hair looks anything BUT good. In fact, in most cases the weaves look hairendous! Not weavetastic! Ha ha! (I had to do it. It was too easy.) I just wish the weaves looked real. Only in rare cases, am I fooled. Most black women out there are just sticking, gluing or pasting a fake looking ponytail on their heads that does not look like theirs. So, if you are wearing a weave, can you try to deceive us? If not, why oh why are you wearing it? In most cases it makes me believe that women that wear weaves fall into one of the below categories:
1) They want long hair because they believe that long hair either equals beauty or is what men want. And in many cases, this is true for the men part! Men may try to deny it but most Black men like a woman with long hair. I think it falls into that whole light skin and long hair beauty standard. And to these women, I say beauty comes in all packages – short hair, long hair, dark skin, light skin, “nappy” or straight hair. WE must embrace ourselves instead of changing ourselves. I don’t have an answer for the men. Sorry! OR…
2) They don’t want to do their hair. This reason I can really understand. Most Black women have moments in their lives, if not decades, where they are tired of dealing with their hair. Many of them get relaxers to help them out. Others get braids. Some cut off their hair and wear it natural. And some other brave souls decide to wear their hair natural and dare the world to say anything. And then, there are the women that choose to get a weave. I don’t have much to say here other than I can relate just try, TRY to make them look real and not tacky. If it looks like something is sitting on top of your head, you didn’t try hard enough.
3) They want to look white or have hair like a white woman. All I can feel in this case is sadness. I hope this isn’t the reason. White isn’t better. And beauty exists everywhere – even in a “nappy” sista’s head. I believe that..
Am I tempted to get a weave, yes sometimes for a half of a second – when I am tired of dealing with my hair. But then I quickly regroup and get myself together. There is something about putting something fake into my hair that bothers me. So, I am now asking myself. Well, how does a weave differ from relaxing your hair? My only answer here is that relaxing your hair may be changing the texture of your hair (which some could consider a lack of self-love), but it isn’t the same as gluing an Asian’s hair or fake hair into your hair and covering yours up. I guess we are talking small degrees of difference here. I would liken relaxing your hair to pressing it. They are both different ways of working with your hair not walking around with someone else’s hair. Although I know I am walking on a thin line here. I’d love to hear someone else’s thoughts so please share.
As many of you know, I am still on my natural hair transition. But, there are days when I ask myself why? Why am I doing it? Why bother? And who cares? But for some reason, I’m still doing it……….even though I hear the Optimum Mild Relaxer calling my name at times. Ha ha!
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3 comments:
Leticia our mutual friend, put me on to your blog & I just had to write you about this. I grew out my relaxer and after 2 years on July 14th got all my straight ends cut off. I LOVE IT! I'm from the DC/MD area too so I know how it is, and I was always getting my hair touched up. I could've bought a house with all the money I spent at the salons. Not counting the time I spent waiting to be seen. Now I love knowing what my natural hair looks and feels like. It's so wierd the kind of freedom I feel. And I'm not y'know trying to make a statement or stick it to the man, or start some sort of reveolution. I was curious, tired of salon visits and just wanted to do it. Albiet in the beginning I was getting my hair straightned and was informed that becaise my hair is soft I didn't even need to do that. A blow and curl would work just as fine. It's like we are brainwashed growing up to believe that our hair is so bad we need to do all these things to it to make it presentable. I'm never going back, and if I ever have to wear my hair straight for a gig - I'm putting on a wig! I hate weaves and braids and having things stuck in my head. It's like I've discovered a new part of myself and it's WONDERFUL.
~Sabah
im from the DC/MD area as well, and i know EXACTLY what your talking about. the type of weaves where it looks like something just crawled up in there and DIED, yeah, those aren't acceptable. funny, i was searching for possible ways to make weaves look real when i came across this. i have a weave now, and this is my first time. i only have a couple tracks though, just in the very back of my head, to add a little length, and volume. they're not even past my shoulders, barely. EVERYONE tells me it looks so real its scary - and people who dont know just say i got some pretty hair. eh. i was skeptical at first, but i was just so curious - i had to do it. im kinda glad i did. its a learning experience. one thing i will never do is get one of those weaves that go past your shoulders, breasts, into oblivion somewhere. nobody's hair is that long.
and to the person above me, my sister has cancer, and is at risk for losing her hair. she has to get a wig, but she's not crazy with it - NO reason, medical or not, can justify the ridiculous weave that this is sista is talkin about.
more power to you! much love.
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