Today is also the day..

Today is also the day that my hubby comes back into town. I’m excited as I always am to see him. You would think that I saw him a month ago. It’s been 3 long days. Our reunions are usually great because we act like the night is a weekend. And we have what our friends now know as one of our “2-people parties.” I love my husband!

Small venting...

Today is my assistant’s last day at work (my day job that I try hard not to talk about). I’m trying not to worry and fret about it, but it’s hard. I’m going to pray that I find another assistant soon before I can’t take it anymore. Ugh! (I just had to vent somewhere.)

Weave-able Feedback

Some thoughts on my weave post from a reader (and soon-to-be-friend), Sabah. Be sure to check out her blog after reading below.

Suite Sabah said...

Leticia our mutual friend, put me on to your blog & I just had to write you about this. I grew out my relaxer and after 2 years on July 14th got all my straight ends cut off. I LOVE IT! I'm from the DC/MD area too so I know how it is, and I was always getting my hair touched up. I could've bought a house with all the money I spent at the salons. Not counting the time I spent waiting to be seen. Now I love knowing what my natural hair looks and feels like. It's so wierd the kind of freedom I feel. And I'm not y'know trying to make a statement or stick it to the man, or start some sort of reveolution. I was curious, tired of salon visits and just wanted to do it. Albiet in the beginning I was getting my hair straightened and was informed that because my hair is soft I didn't even need to do that. A blow and curl would work just as fine. It's like we are brainwashed growing up to believe that our hair is so bad we need to do all these things to it to make it presentable. I'm never going back, and if I ever have to wear my hair straight for a gig - I'm putting on a wig! I hate weaves and braids and having things stuck in my head. It's like I've discovered a new part of myself and it's WONDERFUL.
~Sabah

11:04 AM

I couldn't agree with you more, Sabah! Thank you for posting.

Hopefully, ya'll don't mind me publishing your comments because I love them and they are definitely worth sharing!! It makes me feel like I am not alone out here in cyberspace! Keep writing and sending comments my way. I feel truly lucky to receive them.

Feedback on the Kristin Armstrong Post - Thanks!

Yesterday I received an interesting comment on my Kristin Armstrong post from a fellow blogger that I thought I would share. Please feel free to check out his blog too. I love getting comments.

 

Andrew said...

Well said. The readership of my advice site is primarily female, and I spend much time trying to empower women to realize they have just as many rights within their relationships as their partners. Thanks for pointing out this article.

Andrew
To Love, Honor and Dismay

 

Good Marriage Advice for Women

Kristin Armstrong, former wife of Lance Armstrong, wrote a great article called “What I wish I had known about marriage”. This article talks about what Kristin wishes she knew when she got married. She basically stresses the importance of women remaining true to themselves. I couldn’t agree with her more. It’s funny. I got lots of advice, especially from older women on what not to do. And a lot of it centered on catering to my husband or not being true to me. It was like I needed to play a role to be a good, subservient wife. For example, I was told that I need to cook for my man or make his plate, which I don’t have a problem with doing sometimes but cooking is not my thing. If my hubby was marrying me to cook, well he married the wrong one. However, I never disguised my true feelings about cooking and so he knew this fact about me since we first met each other. I was even told that I shouldn’t express my concerns and worries about his family and my religion (Buddhism). He came from a strict Christian family where his step-dad was a pastor. I was instructed not to worry him with these concerns because men aren’t strong enough to handle these things and it might make him feel like he has to choose. Whoa! Well, I kindly and respectfully told this woman, whom I respected greatly, that my future husband (at that time) and I didn’t roll like that. We told each other everything – good and bad, especially if it was something that was bothering one of us. And the family and religion situation worked out. In fact, my husband chose my religion on his own. Plus, I am not a believer that men aren’t strong, especially Black men. I know that my man is strong and I’d rather push him to be strong rather then play to his lesser self.

I’m just not a big believer in being inauthentic. If there is one thing that most people will say about me, including my husband, is that I’m just me! I don’t always do the easiest thing or take the least challenging road. If something doesn’t make sense to me, then I question it. If I’m uncomfortable with a situation or behavior, I speak up! I know plenty of women that allow certain types of treatment (and its scary to me) but I feel sorry for them. Either they don’t know what type of treatment to accept and reject or they are not strong enough or love themselves enough to demand better. I’ve actually seen this situation recently and I’ve been appalled.

My father gave me some good advice a long time ago. Shoot, I think he told me these words of wisdom before I started college. He said “honey, don’t ever start nothing with a man that you aren’t prepared to continue.” In other words, don’t do anything that you aren’t comfortable continuing because a man will expect something if you do it in the beginning. Thus, for me, a non-cooker, I never tried to woo a man with my cooking or front like I enjoy cooking. Cooking was done on special occasions only. Or if I had something on my mind, I’d say it and worry about the consequences later. I’d rather be the “crazy one” that he dated then get wrapped up with a fool that I can’t talk to or openly express myself.

Although I love my husband dearly, he isn’t worth the death of me – the only person that I truly know. He also isn’t worth me giving up my life. My husband and I have created a new life together with shared goals, viewpoints, and expectations. And I know that I haven’t given up my true self to be with him. I think it is important to be conscious and in the moment. As women, we have to evaluate for ourselves what feels right.

Even now with the big question looming in the room - - are you having children? My father is telling me that I don’t have to have children. He knows how important my goals are to me. He wants me to evaluate this big question for myself and for my marriage. He is trying to tell me (in his own way) that I don’t have to have children unless it is right for me and my husband and not to do it because people think I should. He is lifting the expectation. And my husband and I are continuing to navigate this question and this thing called marriage for ourselves. All I know is that I am navigating it with the true me and that includes what I’m comfortable with, my goals, my dreams, my loves - - which include my husband and our new life together!!

What’s Wrong With a Weave?

Okay, I’m stuck on a 5 hour flight from DC to Long Beach so I have nothing else to do but watch MTV and contemplate the state of weaves. So you’ve been forewarned. I guess nothing is wrong with weaves if you are treating your hair like an accessory? Is hair an accessory? Is it okay if your hair changes daily or weekly? I suppose it’s okay if all the changes look good. But for most our sistas donning weaves today, the hair looks anything BUT good. In fact, in most cases the weaves look hairendous! Not weavetastic! Ha ha! (I had to do it. It was too easy.) I just wish the weaves looked real. Only in rare cases, am I fooled. Most black women out there are just sticking, gluing or pasting a fake looking ponytail on their heads that does not look like theirs. So, if you are wearing a weave, can you try to deceive us? If not, why oh why are you wearing it? In most cases it makes me believe that women that wear weaves fall into one of the below categories:
1) They want long hair because they believe that long hair either equals beauty or is what men want. And in many cases, this is true for the men part! Men may try to deny it but most Black men like a woman with long hair. I think it falls into that whole light skin and long hair beauty standard. And to these women, I say beauty comes in all packages – short hair, long hair, dark skin, light skin, “nappy” or straight hair. WE must embrace ourselves instead of changing ourselves. I don’t have an answer for the men. Sorry! OR…
2) They don’t want to do their hair. This reason I can really understand. Most Black women have moments in their lives, if not decades, where they are tired of dealing with their hair. Many of them get relaxers to help them out. Others get braids. Some cut off their hair and wear it natural. And some other brave souls decide to wear their hair natural and dare the world to say anything. And then, there are the women that choose to get a weave. I don’t have much to say here other than I can relate just try, TRY to make them look real and not tacky. If it looks like something is sitting on top of your head, you didn’t try hard enough.
3) They want to look white or have hair like a white woman. All I can feel in this case is sadness. I hope this isn’t the reason. White isn’t better. And beauty exists everywhere – even in a “nappy” sista’s head. I believe that..

Am I tempted to get a weave, yes sometimes for a half of a second – when I am tired of dealing with my hair. But then I quickly regroup and get myself together. There is something about putting something fake into my hair that bothers me. So, I am now asking myself. Well, how does a weave differ from relaxing your hair? My only answer here is that relaxing your hair may be changing the texture of your hair (which some could consider a lack of self-love), but it isn’t the same as gluing an Asian’s hair or fake hair into your hair and covering yours up. I guess we are talking small degrees of difference here. I would liken relaxing your hair to pressing it. They are both different ways of working with your hair not walking around with someone else’s hair. Although I know I am walking on a thin line here. I’d love to hear someone else’s thoughts so please share.

As many of you know, I am still on my natural hair transition. But, there are days when I ask myself why? Why am I doing it? Why bother? And who cares? But for some reason, I’m still doing it……….even though I hear the Optimum Mild Relaxer calling my name at times. Ha ha!

Holding Our Breath in DC

Well, this past Thursday through Monday (today), my hubby and I did our once a month trip to the DC metro area. Ever since I moved last November to LA from DC, I’ve been back to DC almost once a month, sometimes twice a month for various reasons. This time we were in town for a wedding. And my husband was the best man in this one. So we arrived even earlier to help and participate in the wedding rehearsal, rehearsal dinner and be on call for the groom’s requests. All in all, the wedding turned out okay. Honestly, I am just glad that we are done with weddings for awhile. They are really exhausting and time-consuming - and if you are in the wedding party, you’re holding your breath the whole time hoping that everything works out. What stress! Well, on Saturday, the first thing I said was – whew, I’m glad its over with. It may not have been the nicest thing to say but it’s truly how both my hubby and I felt. We’ve got a lot going on and just want life to slow down a little bit so we can’t stop holding our breath and catch it. My hubby doesn’t come home until Thursday and I can’t wait. Both of us back at home for awhile. Well… until our trip to Hawaii at the end of the month for a much needed vacation. Yaay!

My best friend, Leticia, was nice enough to check on her nephew, Marley, (yes the doggie) while we were gone. I owe her lunch. She is such a good friend. She always has our back and takes such good care of little Marley. He loves Auntie Tish.

Anyway, I didn’t want my few readers to think I’d gone to DC and forgotten about them. Nope – just working my way back into the world of writing this week.

Namaste!!!

My butt and thighs are screaming - - Georgia Browns

Not more than 12 hours after I landed in the District, my butt finds it way into Soul food restaurant extraordinaire, Georgia Browns. For those you that are unfamiliar (poor, poor souls), GB’s is absolutely the best fine soul food cuisine in DC and quite possibly nationwide. I haven’t had anything better. And B. Smith’s leaves a lot to be desired. What’s the difference between Mom’s and GB’s you ask? Well, it depends on your Mom’s cooking! I can only speak for GB’s when I say that everything they serve is good. And the place specializes in seafood dishes. I, myself, had a crab cake dish called Louisiana Deviled Shrimp that had 3 crab cake balls sitting on top of 3 giant tiger prawn shrimp with the cheesiest macaroni and cheese in the middle. It was fantastic. Is your mouth watering yet? Although my arteries and thighs aren’t thanking me at this moment, my taste buds are!! Plus, it’s not every day that I can enjoy GB’s. So, when you are in town, look ‘em up. I promise you – you won’t be disappointed.

We bid adieu to our house and realtor too…

On Friday we finished all the home inspections and we were just overwhelmed with all of the results. We had so many inspections – the normal house inspector which called for a plumbing & sewer inspection and also a chimney inspection. As we should have known, the additional checks could only mean one thing – trouble. And trouble with a capital “T”.

The house ended up being a money pit. Now, my hubby and I were prepared for the usual fixes and repairs that go along with buying an older home. However, we weren’t prepared to fix someone else’s repairs because they weren’t done properly. We would have to fix the fixes! Now doesn’t that sound crazy. So, we couldn’t even start at square one. We had to start below square one to get the whole house safe and to code. My running joke (yes, its funny to me) is that the homeowner of this house used Mr. Janky for all her repairs because nothing was done to code. It was crazy. The electrical system was messed up and would have required additional re-wiring. The plumbing was terrible. We found out that both toilets would be technically considered “inoperable.” And I bet you are thinking. Well how did the owners go to the bathroom? Well, one of them didn’t work at all and they claimed they didn’t use it. And then the other one was about to fall over and was unstable. The toilet was not properly connected to the plumbing and may be on rotted out wood. So the answer is that they went to the bathroom very carefully as to not knock over their only toilet. And the list goes on.. There were chimneys that moved on the roof and condemned along with the fireplace (oh, they claimed they used the fireplace.. humph!). There were refrigerators powering off extension cords because there were only 2 outlets in the entire kitchen and sunroom. The house could fall down any second because it wasn’t retrofitted for an earthquake. We live in a seismic activity zone which is code word for an earthquake can happen at any second. The garage should have been bulldozed because it was a termite mess with no electricity. And on top of all the bad stuff (and I haven’t listed it all), the house needed paint (interior and exterior), new kitchen, new bathrooms, additional closet space, the floors redone. So, if you haven’t gotten the picture by now, the place was CRAZY and required too much work and money. And thanks to the help of my father, my hubby and I were able to see it for what it was - - a Money Trap!

And after we decided that we didn’t want to move forward with the house based on all of these “contingencies” (which is our right by the way), our realtor yelled, kicked, and screamed in disagreement. Maybe I am exaggerating a little bit but she really did advise us STRONGLY and with lots of ATTITUDE to take the house and that we basically wouldn’t find anything better. And I agree. We definitely won’t find anything better with her as our realtor. So, we’ll try to find another house with another realtor. There were other reasons for her dismissal but that is for another day at another time. Plus, some of you might know her. (I told you I keep it pretty real on here.)

So now we are trying to find a qualified and PROFESSIONAL realtor to help us in our search for a new home. (If you know one please send their info my way.) And we aren’t looking for anyone’s friend because that is what got us in trouble in the first place (the realtor was my husband’s friend). There is a lesson in there too. I share below so stay tuned.

Now we are on the prowl to find a new home, a new realtor, and a buyer for our loft. We’re keeping our fingers crossed and praying about it. Although we spent unnecessary money and went through unnecessary drama, we learned several big lessons here.

Lesson #1: Don’t do business with friends (especially when one party is getting paid). You can’t be objective. And the friend can treat the business relationship too casual and act less than professional. Remember, they aren’t doing you a favor if you’re paying them, so they shouldn’t act like it.

Lesson #2: Big decisions should sit right with you or feel good. At the end of the day and after all the pros and cons are weighed, you should be able to sleep well with the decisions that you made. If you can’t or something stinks, leave it be (as they say in the country)!

Lesson #3: As a husband and wife, you must always remember to be on the same team. Although my husband and I did follow this lesson, this ordeal reminded us of the importance of acting as a team. I couldn’t think of anyone else that I’d rather buy a house with. Of course there are times when I wish my hubby was a ball player making a million plus (ha ha). No seriously, our team is #1. You mess with one of us – its over.

Lesson #4: If someone tells you who they are, believe them. In many cases, our realtor revealed certain things about her personality, habits and professionalism that would not be conducive to good business. We should have turned the other way. Don’t ignore them or write them off. If you do, it will come back and bite you in the ass! And in cases like these - cause you to spend unnecessary dough!

Lesson #5: Trust your intuition. I heard voices in my head a couple of times (no I am not crazy) that said don’t work with this realtor or don’t do business with friends or maybe I should say something. And I didn’t. I didn’t heed my own internal warning system – which has NEVER failed me. You have to listen to yourself. If you do, you’ll save yourself a lot of time, money and headaches..

That’s the lesson, boys and girls.

House Inspection #1 Down and 3 More to Go

Yes, really! Yesterday we met with the general house inspector at 10 AM. It took him approximately 2 hours to finish the inspection. We had no idea the process would take that long. We’d scheduled the chimney inspector but he had to cancel. So, now he is rescheduled for today with the plumber/sewer inspection. Ugh! Mo money, mo money, mo money! All of these inspections cost. When people say owning a home is expensive, believe it. We haven’t even gotten to the sign the line part, and we keep shelling out money for this house.

For the most part the house is okay. Most of the items the inspector found were due to old age. The house is almost 100 years old. Some stuff should have been done already like electrical updates and putting in a proper venting system for the dryer. And the house isn’t retrofitted for an earthquake which sounds scary to me. I’ve heard all sorts of justifications on why this is okay (coming from people who have their homes retrofitted to boot). The main one is that the house has stood through other earthquakes. Yes, that’s true. I’ll give you that point. However, I don’t want to be in the house when it has decided that it’s stood through enough earthquakes and it’s tired. Plus, we’ve seen how worn the wood house is on the outside and inside due to time, aging and of course seismic activity (read: earthquakes). It’s a wood house not brick. We can’t even get a sprinkler system that gets the wood too wet and people want to tell me not to worry about an earthquake… Hmm. Not!

Anyway, I’m trying to brace myself for round 2 and three of the inspections today. And I am hoping that the house checks out okay (and this is all relative to a house its age). There is so much work to do on the house. It needs restoration and some serious updating.

A Girl Like Me..We haven't come that far

One my friends recently shared a link with me on Media That Matters about a documentary film called A Girl Like Me directed by a high school student, Kiri Davis. The project reflects the current black girl’s experience and deals with issues of skin color, hair texture, beauty, lack of knowledge about culture and heritage, and their overall self-image. The film even shows the 2005 version of the famous “doll test” originally conducted by Dr. Kenneth Clark that was used in the Brown vs. the Board of Education desegregation case. I found myself tearing up on several parts of the poignant film. It’s sad but true that we, as Black people still don’t love ourselves and appreciate our beauty. And we live in a society that loves to mess with our heads. Come on people! If you click on the link, you can actually watch the documentary. Seeing is believing, especially in this case. I challenge you to think about these messages as it relates to your own self-image, self-worth and the words that you say to others about our brothers and sisters.

Did you know there was a black blog award site?

I just happened on an award site for black blogs. It’s called the 2006 Black Weblog Awards. Very interesting! If you are interested in seeing which blogs won in 2005, its inaugural year, than check out the site. I didn’t know about the site until today but you can bet your bottom dollar (is that the right expression) that I will nominate my blog for 2007. ( By the way, I missed the deadline by 2-3 hours! The nomination process ended today at 11:59 AM EST. There is always next year. If you check back tomorrow, August 16, you can actually vote for the blogs in each category. Check it out. This could get interesting.

Life is a theatre!

My friend, Jaramogi, recently posted this saying or teaching on his blog. I thought it was worth sharing, so here it is! I wish I knew the original author because this person is kicking some serious knowledge. Feel free to visit his blog too.

"Life is a theatre. Invite your audience carefully. Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships/ friendships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama, or don't really understand, know or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life. You cannot change the people around you. But you can change the people you are around."

So people, I know who I am moving out of my front row! Do you? In fact, my hubby and I had to remove several people during our wedding process. I truly believe that people show you who they really are. The problem is that we don’t want to see or listen. My advice - when people reveal to you who they are, listen to them and make changes accordingly. You’re life will thank you for it!

They Should Have Told You to Eat First!

The taping of THE GAME television show was a lot of fun. However, I must say, they should have told us to eat first. We had to be there by 5 PM and supposedly the tapings can last 4-5 hours. We left around 9 PM and they weren’t even close to being done. Most of the takes that we saw were good but they would do them about 3 to 4 different times. As a writer, I was more impressed by the writers than the actors. Mara Akil Brock, the head writer for GIRLFRIENDS, one of my favorite shows (you would know this if you’ve been reading my blog), is the head writer for this new show, hence the network is calling it a spin-off. I was soo excited to see her! It was funny. I was pointing out the different writers to my husband and he was like – who? And he said it over and over again. I would say something else about Mara and he would say who?! Ugh! She is a star in my mind. She has written for and produced a laundry list of hits such as South Central, Moesha, The Jamie Foxx Show, Girlfriends (the creator too), and now The Game. She was an actress in the 1994 movie With Honors. Her husband Salim Akil was the executive producer of Soul Food on Showtime. Can a writer wannabe say – WOW! And she is beautiful to top it all off. It looks like she has everything – great career, spirituality (self-proclaimed Muslim), loving husband, child, beauty, and brains!! She is definitely on my most-admired list and that is a short list.

Anyway, the taping was a good experience. It was truly behind the scenes. We got to see the different sets and all the people that make a TV show happen. We were told by our security escort that it takes roughly 200 people to produce one show! Wow! Amazing. Can I just be one of those 200?! And then I would be remiss if I didn’t say that Tia Mowry from Sister, Sister (with the twin Tamara Mowry) is the leading actress, and she is fantastic. She is a great actress and truly talented. The show will not fail on her account. I’m a big fan of black or urban sitcoms and try to support them as best as I can. The show will debut after Girlfriends which will run on Sunday nights on the new CW channel (UPN + WB) in the fall. Stay tuned for more updates!

Hanging in there!

For those of you interested in the hair transition, I’m hanging in here. Literally. Sometimes I feel like all of my hair is going to fall out. Instead of just wearing it natural and pulled into a bun, I’ve been wearing it blow dried. I didn’t even have to “press it”. A simple flat iron worked to get it straighter than I needed. Oh well, the process is going okay. Nothing too exciting. I am trying to find a hair stylist that actually knows what they’re doing in LA!!

The Offer Was Accepted!

Well, our offer on the house was accepted on Friday! So, we’re moving forward with this house. Of course, there was one snag along the way concerning the garage but we stood firm. On Sunday, we went by the Open House (it was previously advertised before our offer so they were obligated to still do it) on the place to take pictures and get measurements. It was nice seeing so many people interested in our place and talking about how beautiful it was. We also got some great ideas on how to expand rooms and make our half bath into a full bath. My best friend, Leticia, and her husband came by to get a sneak peek at our place.  Now, we really have to worry about selling our place! Send us your prayers!

2 hours and counting until the show

Tonight I am going to the live taping of THE GAME with my hubby. I'm pretty excited because I've never been to a studio taping for a TV show. It should be lots of fun. There was so much to do to get the tickets. We had to request tickets, get an email confirming the request. Then, once we got off the waiting list, we had to confirm the ticket via email and then by phone the night before or by 9 AM on the day of. Wow! They are really making you work for the tickets. And now we have to arrive basically by 4:30 PM to ensure we have time to park and get to the studio on time. I wish my girlfriend Leticia was going but she had to work. Bummer. It would have been a great experience to have together. Oh well, there is next time. I'm still trying to get tickets for the Girlfriends show. I guess me and the rest of the LA black world want those tickets. This is going to be a lot of fun. I can't wait.... I'm sure all the hoopla, rules, restrictions and confirmations are worth it.

And the home game begins

My hubby and I worked with our real estate agent last night on the offer for the house. We came up with what we thought was a fair price based on our market research. At the end of the day, we settled on a price that made us all feel comfortable, especially me because I think there is value in negotiating. So, the offer was submitted this morning at 9 AM PST and the seller has to respond by 5 PM tomorrow. I can't wait. I want to know now what she is going to say. The suspense is killing me. If it goes through, we will be moving in about a month. Keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer that we'll get the best home for us.

Our house (hopefully)

Our house

My hubby and I are thinking about buying this house. Its exciting and scary at the same time. I've been stalking the house a little bit - driving by it in the mornings to see how it looks and check out the neighborhood. So far, so good. We've looked at several houses in the neighborhood and have decided on this one. It has so much character. Anyway, this might be our house. Keep your fingers crossed. Yippee!

The Importance of Having the Right Energy

I recently discovered the importance of choosing people and surrounding myself with people that have the RIGHT energy. Although this may at first sound a bit abstract, bear with me. Do you know how you can meet someone for the first time and immediately get a “sense” about them? And from this initial meeting, you usually can make a decision about whether or not you are interested in getting to know them better. Many people call this example, your first impression. I ask you to examine that first impression further. A first impression is made up of several things – what the person said (verbal communication), what the person did (behavior), what the person didn’t say (non-verbal communication), and the energy that came from this person. There are other clues too but they are more judgmental like what the person looked like? How they dressed? How they spoke? If you are asking “how” in this situation, you are judging at some level. Judgments are okay as long as we realize we are judging. Anyway, we all get this energy feeling from people if we pay attention. Many of us don’t look at this level, consciously or unconsciously, when we meet people or interact with them. Sometimes we don’t know to look at it. Other times, we just don’t trust our own internal energy judgment which I call intuition. I want to encourage people to listen to their intuition and pay attention to someone’s energy. In two important situations in my life, my wedding videographer and my financial adviser, I chose (rather my husband and I chose) people with the wrong energy. (On a side note, in the case of the financial adviser, we chose someone who wasn’t even as smart as we are in terms of finances (now that’s scary).) I am not saying that the people are BAD nor is their energy. It just wasn’t right for us. And sometimes determining what will be the right energy for a project or venture, takes a bit of introspection. However, the one thing that I do know is that the energy needs to be positive and light! I would just like to personally invite you to take note of these nonverbal clues and pay attention to someone’s energy. It could make all the difference in whether your experience with this person or with your new project turns out the way you wanted it to.

Say Hi Please

I started a guestbook (see sidebar) so I could figure out who is visiting the site and to hear from folks. I love for someone to leave me a message. So, if you have time or feel sorry for me (hanging out here in cyberspace solo), sign my guestbook. Thanks!

Your Old AOL Address Works

I tried it. It does work although now it has an aim.com ending instead of aol.com. The question is – do I want it? I’ve re-established myself on Yahoo! and a little bit on Google. The question for AOL is why should old users go back?

Introducing Marley

I just thought I would share a picture of one of my loves in the world - my doggie, Marley. He is almost a year old. He'll be a year on August 29th and shares a birthday with my mom. My husband and I knew he was the puppy for us based on his sweet temperament and the shared birthday confirmed our decision. He is the sweetest puppy! And we love him a lot. You can expect more pictures on August 29th. (And for those of you wondering, he is a Maltese.)

Happy to be Nappy!

Well after years of deliberating, I’ve decided to go natural. Meaning (for those of you that don’t know the lingo) I am not going to relax or perm my hair any more. (I used to perm my hair rather infrequently like 2 or 3 times a year.) The result is that I will have my natural hair texture in all its nappy glory. I’m actually excited about the idea of just being me. Since my hair is curly, I’m looking forward to just wearing it curly. And who knows, maybe one day I’ll decide to wear locs (which I think are gorgeous when done properly). It feels good to know that I am embracing all of who I am – naps and all. It is like rediscovering me in a spiritual way. This transitioning period is going to be interesting. I’m seeing my hair growing quickly and how the texture is changing. I joined a Yahoo Group called Naturally You (this link may not work for the public). This group was started by the editor of the magazine by the same name to support natural hair sistas! (Permies, you don’t need much support!) It’s been great so far with hearing the stories of other women transitioning and the effect on their lives. Some women have very insensitive husbands that have told them to straighten out their naps! (I’m lucky that I have a husband that fully supports me and thinks I am beautiful regardless – straight or natural hair.) So, occasionally I’ll be talking about my hair transition because hell, this is my blog! I’d love to hear your thoughts on natural hair or any suggestions during this transition period!

I'm going to be on TV!

I’m going to be on TV. YAAY! I am so excited. Well, not exactly. My hubby and I are scheduled to attend a live taping on August 11th of THE GAME which is a spin-off from my favorite show, GIRLFRIENDS. I can’t wait. I’ve never seen a live taping of a show. And to me, being in a couple of commercials doesn’t count. I am just busting at the seams! I love GIRLFRIENDS so I am hoping that I will enjoy the spin-off just as much. I’ll be sure and let you all know how it goes. I’m going to Hollywood! I’m going to Hollywood. Ok yes, I am a little excited.

Speaking of GIRLFRIENDS, can anyone confirm the rumor that the show is being cancelled? I cannot tell you how pissed off I would be because not only is it my favorite show but what else is out there for women of color to see themselves positively portrayed on TV. And I also hear that Half & Half is going to be cancelled too. I don’t know about you all but we can’t let this happen. What shows will we, as Black people, have to watch that more accurately than not show us in a positive and realistic light?! Out here in Hollywood, I know they are still taping shows for the upcoming season. Is this the last season? If I find out anything, I’ll let you know.

Yep! It's Back On!!

Guess what people! Just when you thought there couldn’t be another anthology published. Tinesha and I have decided to finish working on our anthology on being Black and Buddhist. It is called Voices from the Shadows. We are really excited about the idea. About 2 years ago, we started the project but didn’t get very good submissions. And truthfully, we were both working on other things. Tinesha was just beginning her book, Holla at the Moon (I think) and working on self-publishing her book of poetry, All Black Girls Ain’t Got Rhythm. I was working on my poetry, flash fiction, and my marketing communications company, FeatureOne. So, the timing was off. Its funny – both of us claim the idea as our own because the vision for the book came to each of us separately but at the same time. In Buddhism, we call this “myoho” or mystic, or even “esho funi” (spelling could be all wrong) – one in mind but many in body. Anyway, keep your eyes peeled for additional information on our anthology. Neither of us have written a nonfiction book or edited one so this will be excellent practice. We are currently working on our submission requirements and the web site for the anthology. We’ll keep you posted.

AOL email is now free!

AOL recently announced that they will begin to provide email accounts for free to compete with Yahoo! and Google. Many of their customers, myself included, left AOL because it was silly to pay for email when you could get it for free - especially if you are already paying for broadband. AOL was my first internet and email provider. I was used to them and their system. In fact, Yahoo! and Google don't look half as good as AOL to me. I am not even sure I like Google's email setup at all. It actually took me a long time to discontinue my AOL service. I was just giving them money - month after month. I was worried about transferring everything over and losing contact with people. Thanks AOL. I can now reclaim my old email address (if I even still want it). Supposedly, all you have to do is login with your old username and password to reactivate your email. This story will be interesting to follow. Will AOL make an email comeback with free email? Should Yahoo! and Google be worried? To read the full story, click here.