Oooh The First Post - What Pressure! Tips on Finding Your Mate

I thought that I would start off the blog with some helpful tips for the women. These are simply tips. I am not professing to be a relationship, dating, meeting, marrying expert. I only realized a couple of things during my single life (pre-fiance) that I thought would be worthy of sharing.

1. If you don't know what you are looking for in a mate, you won't find it! --Although this tip sounds soo simple and obvious, you would be surprised at the number of people that are wandering this earth looking for their "soul mate" but have no idea what qualities this person would possess. I think they are so enamored with the idea that this perfect person for them is going to show up one day, cross their path, profess their love, and they'll live happily ever after. Hey, the person could show up, cross your path, and profess their love - - but if you don't know what you are looking for, you won't even know that your mate is standing there before you. Instead, this love-saying, cross-pathing guy will look like the crazy guy next door or at work or on the bus. You get the drift. Which leads me to my next point...
2. Make a list -- Take some quiet time to yourself and reflect on the qualities that you want in a mate. These qualities include wants, needs, and wishes. Write all of them down. Let them sit for awhile and then come back to them. Edit and refine the list. Compare your list to the good and the ugly in past suitors. The best qualities are the ones you've experienced first hand and know to be the qualities that suit you. Not the ones that you and your girlfriends talked about over dinner or the last "f&5K a dude" conversation. Take this exercise serious. You are putting your dream into the universe. You are naming it - as they say.
3. Be Open - - Although at first glance, this advice may seem contrary to the detailed and explicit list but you have to be open to meeting people and keeping an open mind on the guys that you already know. You will be surprised by your new evaluations of men once you know what you are looking for and open to the possibilities.
4. Ask Yourself - Do I Possess The Qualities on My List?! -- A lot of women are looking for Prince Charming, however, they are more like the Wicked Witch of the West, not Cinderella. Many of us expect the man to be perfect but we haven't cleaned out our own closets. After you've decided what you want in a mate, made your list, and developed an open mind, it is now time to take stock of yourself. Develop the criteria that you desire in a mate. Is it financial security? Hmmm. It may be time to check out your bank statements and retirement plans. Is it generosity? Hmm. You might want to see how generous your friends and family think you are. Is it spiritual? You might want to ask yourself: when was the last time you went to church or did your own spiritual practice? Are you all the things (or at least most of them) that you want in a mate?
5. Develop Yourself! -- This tip goes hand-in-hand with the previous tip. Spend some time working on YOU. I know this sounds sooo self-help-ish but its true. Take advantage of your single time and the opportunity to really concentrate on you. (Once you are in a relationship, this time may severly diminish!) Remember your list! Did you want the guy to have a good job (however you define it)? Maybe you should up your job prospects by taking some classes and learning new skills? Or perhaps you may want to update your resume and switch jobs. Or better yet, it might be time to go to school? The list is endless. And only you know, what you are looking for and what areas of your life need improvement. I encourage you to spend the time and energy on yourself.

With those simple tips, you will be on your way to finding your mate. However, and I would say, more importantly, you are improving yourself, loving yourself, and enjoying life. Not waiting around for Mr. Right. Good luck and Enjoy You!